Yesterday the Atom Books crew (and me) took a school trip to Clay's Printer to see THE FALLEN CHILDREN being printed.

​The idea was that I would learn a lot about the printed process, and I kind of did, except that I spent most of the time gawping in at awe at all the machinery and my own book emerging from it. So I'm afraid this post won't be terribly educational, but there are some nice photos (almost exclusively of my own book).

It's a little hard to describe what it's like being there while 2,500 copies of your book are printed. The uncollated pages are all loaded ready in the machines. As soon as everything is turned on the pages are collated, the covers glued on, the books cut and pages trimmed, all in about 10 minutes. Although of course more is done before that point, I still had no idea that everything would print so quickly.

It was also special to actually see all the different colour covers, and to see the spines! They were all printed in random order to make sure bookshops don't end up with multiple of the same colour, and seeing the different colours all over the factory was slightly mindblowing.

In the photos above you can also see the Golden Egg special cover. These are going out to a random selection of book shops, and whoever finds one (and buys it) will win a prize!

Visiting the printer was comfortably one of the best days of my writing career. The only thing now is for The Fallen Children to actually come out. May 4th!

The incredibly talented Alice Oseman, fellow YA author and artist person, decided to draw the lead characters from The Fallen Children!

They're just incredible! I couldn't be more grateful. 

She also liked the book quite a lot, if her review is anything to go by: ​https://t.co/FUUAKMKMlw

Alice is the author of Solitaire and Radio Silence, the latter of which was one of my favourite books of 2016. Follow her on Twitter and see her pinned tweet for all the places you can find her online.

We’re all a bit obsessed with the writing processes of authors. This is largely because every writer believes other authors are doing it better than they are, when the truth, really, is that we’re all just flailing our way towards the finish line.

This is definitely true of my own ‘process.’ Only my debut book Panther was relatively straightforward. Everything else I’ve written has needed innumerable redrafts, rewrites, and rethinks before finding its way. However much I might have planned before starting, there’s no process which puts me on a straight path to the finished product. I find the book along the way.

It’s messy, but it seems to be how I work, so I make the best of it. I’m also lucky to work with excellent editors.

The book that netted me an agent but didn’t sell was a dystopian YA thing that started life as one book, swelled to a completed trilogy, and was then boiled back down to a single book.

The Fallen Children, published next year, stalled numerous times, and for a long while featured an entire third part of around 20,000 words that was eventually cut.

My next YA project, according to my agent, ‘needs a lot of work.’ I have no doubt it will end up as something completely different to its current draft (which is already the third).
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I’m haphazardly making the point that we shouldn’t be too hung up on the idea of a writing process. Although writing a book requires hard work and discipline always, it’s not something that can be automated. What matters is getting the bastard over the line, whatever it takes. 

You might know me as that guy off Twitter who complains at length about his book not being as successful as he’d like. As genuinely brilliant as book Twitter can be, it can have the side effect, as recently noted by author Abi Elphinstone, of making you look sideways and feel horribly inferior.

I sometimes need to remind myself how important my book deal was to me. I sometimes need to remind myself that it might have saved my life.

On Monday, May 12, 2014, I seriously considered jumping in front of a train.

I was heavily depressed, living at home, single, and struggling to find work. I had taken a temp job that had me filing crime scene photographs all day, including rape and child abuse cases. I had never felt less like I wanted to keep living.

As I waited for the train that would take me to the job I hated, I found myself working out the best spot to jump from to make sure I would be killed instantly, but also where I wouldn’t arouse suspicion before the train arrived.

I went and stood there.

In the past I had idly contemplated suicide, but generally lacked the conviction. That day, as the rails hissed and the train came into sight, I felt how simple it could be. A sense of momentum overtook me, the same momentum that could pitch me over the edge of the platform, that would take me past the point of no return. Every muscle seemed to sing with it as the train drew closer.

People struggle to understand suicide because the thought of killing themselves is unthinkably frightening. But for those who reach that decisive moment, the thought of continuing to live can be infinitely more terrifying.

Standing on that platform, I wasn’t sure which was more frightening. Life or death. The balance could have tipped either way. The one thing that tipped it in favour of taking a step away from the edge, waiting for the train to stop, and giving my life a chance, was my book deal.

I had signed it six months before. Panther was going to be a real book. At the time it was still a year away, but it was going to happen. It was everything I had ever wanted.

In that moment, I think it kept me alive.

So whenever I look sideways on Twitter and feel jealous of the success I see around me, I try and remember what that first book deal meant to me. Truly, it meant everything. 

Hello! I have announced a new book. It's called THE FALLEN CHILDREN! And to celebrate I've made a short video that explains what the hell it's all about.

Alright? It's officially that time of year where every vaguely bookish person on the internet decides to ponder over the past 12 months and work out which books they liked best. So I'm doing the same!

I'm sticking to books published in 2015 in the UK. Don't worry, I won't keep you long. 

I recently took Panther out into the wild for a reading at the inaugural Beckenham WordFest, a new event dedicated to the amazing power of words, and the arts more widely. Thankfully in this photo you can't see how profusely I was sweating inside that tent. 

At the event there was a quilt made up of school kids' favourite book quotes, and I was ridiculously happy to see that Panther featured a few times. Next to Dr Seuss no less!

Overall it was a really great day. Here's to many more!

Yesterday I attended the inaugural UKYAExtravanganza event in Birmingham, UK, which was basically a celebration of all things UKYA, including 35 authors showing off their books, a great deal of mingling, and quite a lot of cake.

I went mainly to meet some of the super lovely and passionate people I talk about books with on Twitter, and although I'm bloody awful at meeting people, it was great to chat to a few bloggers and fellow authors.

I also signed a copy of Panther for the very first time!

Please ignore my horrendous hunchback. 

It's just over two months until Panther is released, and slowly but surely I'm starting to feel like a real author. Maybe I need to work on my handwriting. 

UKYAExtravanganza was marvelous, and I hope to be sheepishly showing my face (and maybe signing a book or two) at more such events in the future.

Last night myself and my agent Ella Kahn went down to The University of Winchester to give a talk to MA writing students and some members of the public about getting published. Ella did most of the work and was fantastic, while I had the opportunity to read a chapter of PANTHER to the public for the first time.

It seemed to go down quite well. Afterwards a girl approached me to say that my writing made her feel sick, "but in a good way." That's a compliment if ever I heard one.

It was great to have the first reading at the university I've attended as a BA student, an MA student, a teacher, and now an author. Check out the pictures - we had quite a turn out!